In Need of a New Adventure

This afternoon I took some time off to go help pack and say goodbye to a super sweet and amazing friend, Ilena*. She's headed out west with her longtime boyfriend and a fresh start together. She will be sadly missed.

I'm not going to lie. Part of me envies that she is picking up, moving and starting a new adventure. It seems that's what I'm in need of - adventure....in something. The something is yet undefined but it's what's causing the feeling and need of something new, exciting and fresh. I'm not yet sure what form it will take, but that's part of Finding Epiphany; finding me.

I just seem to be all over the place and the stress and overwhelm feeling coupled with a major To Do List that still needs to be tackled, make me just want to pick up and run away. But, one can't do that and be healthy in spirit, heart, body and soul. Clearly this is my time of self-evaluation; to review why I do what I do, missed opportunities, lack of passion and more. I'm tired of missing out on life. I'm tired of doing things because people expect it of me. Guess what? It really hasn't worked out that well. I've sacrificed so much - traveling, love, and....time. Unfortunately, many of the things I want to do cost money I don't have right now (Step one: stay on budget). That becomes even more frustrating.

My soon-to-be-West-Coaster girlfriend and I were talking about how life has become so complicated. Technology is great, but when did things become so complicated? It's like everyone's running around, running somewhere, in a hurry. Worse, we're all completely overstimulated - yes, I'm in marketing and completely take part of the blame. I mean, seriously, I have five, count them 1-2-3-4-FIVE Twitter accounts I manage daily, three blogs, groups galore...sigh! Who has that much and who does it well without, oh client work and everything else involved in running a business? It's a beautiful blessing, but a curse for someone in my industry. We're expected to be so plugged in when all I really want to do is unplug. Ilena and I share the desire for something slower, more peaceful and not so overwhelming. She's going from music marketing to personal trainer and she will no doubt be amazing!

Moreover, it's summer in Chicago which means there are a million and one things going on at all times of the day and night. We don't really sleep here, but as I get older I care less about those things and more about getting rest! Have I mentioned I love to sleep? Can't function with out my hard eight...and a half. This weekend is a perfect example. There were so many things on my social calendar - all things I really would not have missed for the world, but I had NO time to do what needs to get done during a weekend. Instead, I came home Sunday night and crashed at 8:00p.m. I was exhausted! Yet, I had so much fun.

So now I'm really stuck with the feeling we all experience: days flying by, there just aren't enough hours in the day. We're on a go-go mission daily and we don't just stop to enjoy. A friend once said that he thought living in a city like Chicago would wear you down. Maybe it is, just a tad. Things move faster here. Days do, in essence, go faster. I can't tell you how many times I come into my home office at 7am only to look up and be amazed that it's already 3pm! The funny thing is that I'm single, no kids, no husband, no cooking major meals, and I still don't have the time. Go figure.

I also found out in the last few days that I'm not the only one I know doing some hardcore soul searching. It seems many of my friends are now wondering if they're truly happy and exploring their passions to be happy in career and life. That's very comforting. When you sit down to do something like write this blog, it sometimes feels like you're just hanging out there for the world to read, see and judge (let them, if they need to), so it's nice to know I'm not alone. Of course, the bonus is that the blogger world is pretty accepting and supportive. It's wonderful.

In fact, my gay boyfriend announced that he, myself and one of his friends are all going to move to Key West, open a business and star in a reality show - trust me, that bitch has NO problem whining and stirring up drama! It's a nice thought. I told him to call me when it's a reality - like business plan and moving arrangements made, not the show.

We all have times we want to just runaway. Maybe that's supposed to be the value of vacations - the one's you don't come home from exhausted in need of another vacation to recover. I'm lucky though. This time of year I rollerblade to the lakefront, park myself in my favorite spot, watch the sailboats and....get away from it all, at least for a few minutes. For now, that will have to be my escape, and I must say it's not a bad one.

Unfortunately, there's not enough time in the day to spend stay out there as long as I'd like. Isn't that always the story...