Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Speaking of Faith
Tonight I was at an event that I host each month. I got on the subway home, got off, checked CTA Bustracker to see how long the bus would be for my transfer...11 minutes. I sat down to wait. I played solitaire on my phone. The bus came, I got up, got on and got off at my stop only to realize that I had left my favorite bag, the one my best friend had given to me as a Christmas gift many years ago, at the train/bus stop with all of my things for the event and.....my wallet.
I checked the next bus arrival on my phone. 25 minutes. I walked the nine blocks as fast as my legs would allow me to go - my calves on fire, burning (of course bustracker was off, the bus went flying by me five blocks in). As I walked I cursed myself for not thinking. Of checking out the cute boy with the guitar strapped to his back instead of paying attention. I prayed "please God, please let someone be a good Samaritan." And...I cursed myself some more. I cursed myself for not paying attention, for being lost in other thoughts, and then I begged some more. Every time I cursed and begged I heard a voice saying "have faith." I replied, "I want to." I want to have faith, but I live in a city where something in such plain site could disappear in seconds, not moments. I got to the train/bus stop and there....more than 10 minutes later sitting in the same place was my bag under a bright light. No one could have missed it. Complete with wallet and all it's possessions.
I splurged for the six dollar cab ride home, exhausted from the emotion of it all. I thanked Him and in reply, I heard "Have trust. Ye of little faith."
It's time to listen again. To have faith again. To trust and know that He will never let me down, even as I go through this period of seeking. He is the one who's always got my back.