Home is Where the Heart Is

It's official. I definitely need a new address; a new fresh, untainted with memories space. Something with new life and energy.

This is hard to say because I love my cute apartment (the nicest in a somewhat shabby building - my friends scoff at shabby - what?) The building is over 100 years old. It's city living. It's got character and class you can't find in modern buildings, or rather flat-converted homes. I do love it. The benefits are that it's the nicest, renovated apartment in the building and the rent...man I've grandfathered in. It's unbelievable what I pay for a place in this location (then again building reflective, I suppose). My apartment even has a little den which I use as my home office. And the location....is perfect. So why move?

I adore my neighbors but they're all considerably younger than me. Not a bad thing but I'm getting tired of the pot sifting its way through the walls into my closet making all of my clothes smell like I just jumped out of a used bowl (I have stock in Febreeze) and also my stairwell, which always has the strongest air freshners I can find. Sure, I've talked to them about this, but really what pot-smoking 25 year old is going to listen to me, or even care? They are nice guys and very kind.

The other problem: the music. You know, if you have a house on an acre of land play your music as loud as you want, but don't rock us all out. It's exhausting having to tell the adorable, sweet wannabe rapper and the bowled-out-of-their-minds students to turn the fucking bass down again and again. And I swear I'm not becoming old and boring, it's just that I'm over those days and....I have RESPECT for my neighbors. Crazy concept, I know.

Don't even get me started on my landlord! I once thought him an adorable Irishman I was dying to get my hands on and now I realize he's just crap! I had been asking him for EIGHT months to come fix things and he didn't. Of course, I, like an idiot, continued paying rent. Instead a lovely gf offered her husband's handy skills to come help me out. I took them both out for pizza and when I took out the expense from my check, I was sure to include the $60 "labor" charged - also known as a small bender at the pizza place. Now he's on it again. The one thing, the ONE thing he has to fix he hasn't done in a year and I'm definitely withholding the money. It's just bullshit!

It's just time. I've been in this space for 10 years and it's hard to let go. Every woman remembers her favorite "I'm a single and fabulous professional" apartment. This is mine. I started my business and a new life here way back then and it's the first time I haven't moved every year (which I did from 18-27 and more than once a year while in college). I've settled here but is it worth it for its current benefits? I do long for a nice place like my friends have, but those kinds of places in the city, and the space I'd need, are definitely TRIPLE what I'm currently paying in rent. And forget about buying. Anyone got 600 grand? It's crazy. One thing that I love and will miss most when I leave one day (it's inevitable) is my tree. I love my tree and, yes, I call it MINE. I look out on it each morning and in the fall the sun hits its orangey-golden leaves and catapults the warm color into my living room. It really makes me smile.

I do long for a house. A house on land that isn't infested with urban wildlife (aka rats) that I can have a garden on; have a dog who can run around and where I can play my music as loud as I want. I do long for the kind of life and space I grew up in, but if I'm staying in Chicago, I ain't moving to the burbs. It's too hard and almost all of my business is in the city anyway. Plus, I don't need a car living here....except for those terrible winter days when you're desperate to hit the grocery store. That's a long fucking four-block walk when the sidewalks aren't cleared!

Maybe it's time to be with other 30-somethings...For now, I've got to stick here (money and all) but I'm making myself over, one day and one blog post at a time and it will come together this year. Kitty and I are happy for the meantime - she's definitely claimed this as her kingdom. Besides, who knows where I will find myself in the next year?