In Memoriam

Have you ever known someone who took life so easy that nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could ever shake them?  That was Chuck.

Chuck and I met through the gay boys.  He played on the softball team and came to all of the parties.  He made a real effort to be everyone's friend and you simply became intoxicated with his spirit.  It was one you became drunk on.  It was addicting and you were always left wanting more, especially once he retreated the party.  When he wasn't playing softball Chuck was my companion in cheerleading on the sidelines, and that's where we did most of our gossiping.  I know how much he would have liked to play softball this last summer, but I loved having him to myself under the tent next to the dusty field rooting "our guys" on.  "You can ring that cowbell like no one else, E!"

Chuck was a giving and wonderfully cheerful person who never let anything get him down.  While he sometimes walked to the beat of his own drum, Chuck was a good voice of reason and he left a mark on all of us.  He always had a smile on his face, and you can't help but have one when you think of him.  Isn't that what any of us can hope to do when we depart? 

When Chuck walked into the room there was always a "hey, hey, hey!" and them kisses and hugs for everyone.  He was a generous guy who never thought twice about going out of his way to see you, to pick you up to go somewhere or think of the kind things no one else does.  He was the first to bring flowers and celebrate the achievements of friends. 

For me, Chuck was a consummate gentleman (as so many of my gay boys are - they really know how to be sweet to a woman!) and one of the few who I jumped for joy to see.  "Hhhheeeeyyyyy, E!  How are you?  What's new?  Tell me everything!" and I'd always ask "How is your love life?"  "Wwwelll, there are a couple of boys around but you know, this chemo thing doesn't leave me with much energy to fuck any of them!"  And that would be followed by a big laugh.

 Yes, I blocked out my face...this is my anonymous journal!

Chuck had Leukemia.  He went through chemo and had a bone marrow transplant over the summer.  In January he went back into the hospital.  The transplant didn't take.  He then came home and then went back in last week, admitted to ICU.  As I told Ben* I just didn't see this coming.  Didn't think this was an option.  He always said "I'm going to beat this".

He was an exemplary example of courage and positivity, and he will be missed. Rest in peace my friend.  Your spirit will always be near us.  You will be present with us always.  But, you will be missed.  I love you!

xoxo