While I am on my journey I continue to follow this sort of Golden Rule. It truly works but it can be difficult. I often wonder to myself how it is that I am so busy and yet not generating the revenue to reflect it. Well, it's because I do pro bono work and I'm a big believer in it. My pro bono clients are some of the best for generating quality referrals for my business. They are, at times, the clients I am most happy working for. The joys of success feel higher. Now, there are some, which I will not name, that come and go or simply ask too much of me and I, eventually, have to let them go.
This year, in an effort to focus on me for a change, I let go of some of my volunteer work because it was just taking too much of my time. I have one regular pro bono client, a 17-year old, extraordinary nonprofit founder who is generating tons of press. I'm so happy to be part of her life and inspired as a factor of her being part of mine. She is changing the world in a way I used to think I would, but, well, I do, but in a much smaller way. I'm happy to be part of her good work and to help her realize her dreams for her organization.
This week has been full of opportunities including helping promote a documentary that is getting rave reviews and awards all over the world. I'm simply helping raise awareness in Chicago, but the film's content and meaning are moving and something I'm lucky to be part of.
It's hard not to live by the motto "You get what you give" and not consider what you will receive in return. What I am receiving....new clients, opportunities and connections. They just happen. It's inexplicable and I can only consider it as God or the universe.
A good friend of mine in recovery said that the best thing that ever happened to her was The Program. "Let go and let God" had a meaning to her that she reminded me was powerful. We can only control what we can. Just get up and do daily. Live up to your obligations and never forget to do for yourself, and the rest will fall into place. There is a plan for each one of us that is greater than even we can imagine. We just have to stick to the path, get up every morning excited for what might happen and go with the flow of that which does happen. In her wise words, "Let life happen. It can't be controlled by any of us. We can only control those things which do happen to us, the blessings, and let Him reveal the rest. And it always happens at the exact time you need it."
As I consider what I want for myself, I also start doubting. I doubt my choice to leave the city I love so much and all the connections I've made here. There is a wonder if I will be forgotten and whether these amazing things - connections, networking and connecting people or even achieving new business - will continue. I know that many will forget me, in time, but I hate that. I feel like, despite technology, that people are more and more "out of sight, out of mind". Including the Gay BF who recently announced how he will replace me. I suppose that's what got me thinking. We can only hope to make a mark on each person's heart the likes of which is unforgettable.
So my mission to live with that in mind and remember to give more than I receive is what makes me believe I have, am and will continue to leave a mark no matter where I go. Again, this week, despite the tug and pull with doubt, I was reminded of my desire to be closer to my family. And those I've touched, well, it will be a blessing for them to remember me and stay in touch.
To the city I love, Chicago, my good friend *Susan sent me the best article for my birthday. It came to her about the time she was deciding whether to move out of the city or not. Much like this writer who left New York City for the wide-open spaces of Arizona, I may be confusing the heartbeat of the city with that of my own. I love you but I can create my own heartbeat and energy wherever it is I go.
A couple of updates:
- The Job Interview: She finally called last Monday to schedule an interview for 10a the next morning. After not hearing from her and working to track down her phone number, I called her at 10:25 and left a message. It took her three days to get back to me. She did apologize and asked to reschedule. I have yet to hear back from her per my email....So far, I'm not impressed with them, but it's an interview. I was reminded by a friend that I should have no problem interviewing because I'm always pitching new business, and myself.
- The SHOES - a couple of you wanted to know the overall effect of my "Tone and Walks". Well, they're comfortable for sure, but as much as I wear them, I can't tell if they're making a difference. It is an uphill battle, though. They have to compete with wine....
- Love life - pretty dead right now, since I've decided to be selfish and really focus on me. I'm still open to any opportunities, but believe me, if a guy wants to go out with me, he'll fucking call! I can only say that, sadly, it's up to lip slut to have fun and the fact I'm not meeting "the one" or anyone resembling him is based solely on my current goals.